72 Secrets to Happiness
Secret 53 No Agenda


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You may have heard that is better to give than to receive but what you may not have know is that you cannot expect to receive something in return or it back fires.  We make friends because we want to have friends, we are charitable when we know someone will notice how giving we are.  We want recognition or at lease acceptance.  Lets say you give a homeless woman a wrapped sandwich and she takes it, but she says, next time just give me money please.  You might think that ungrateful woman should feel lucky that I bought her some food, how dare she bite the hand that gives.

What you receive instead of happiness from your giving is anger.  Giving can only happen when you have no agenda, then and only then will the magic of giving work.  What is that magic?  It is true happiness and honest admiration by everyone around you.  The absolute and most pure form of giving occures when the giver does not know who will receive the gift and the receiver does not know who gave the gift.

No body expects you to give that perfectly, but try to be proactive when you give and check your intentions.  If  your giving for a selfish reason then it is just a waste of time and will actually make you less happy and harder to respect.

Folks can sense hypocrisy a mile away and when they see you taking or giving with strings that is a real turn off and makes them suspicious of your intensions even for them.  Everyone likes and trusts an honest person and most want to know and be associated with honest people.  It is very difficult to be happy by yourself so if happiness is what you are looking for then you have to examine your intensions.

In the rare case that you are very honest but still do not have friends then you are simply missing the giving part of the equation.  Once you start giving for the correct reason happiness and relationships will be easy and abundant.
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