72 Secrets to Happiness
Secret 14 Conflict


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We have all heard it, Love thy neighbor as thy self.  Let me ask you this, do two wrongs make a right?  Wisdom is not against wars because sometimes certain life values are worth fighting for but those wars are all started with smaller conflicts that could have been solved by good rather than evil.

If someone insults you and cheats you out of money, you would not kill them.  But if they were about to kill you to take your money you might have to stop them even if that meant killing them in defense.  Even this type of violence could have been averted if not by you, then by others that previously knew and confronted the attacker.

It does not just happen, there is always a build up to real conflict.  If dealt with early most disagreements and bad behavior can be turned around and avoided.  You are not your brothers keeper and you can not be responsible for the failings of others but you must take responsibility for your own actions and what they may eventually lead to.

What if it was you that put a killer over the edge by feeding his hatred, are you not partly responsible for the crime that he then commits?  Love has many meanings and in the quote above it is referring to a brotherly/sisterly love.  It really means to avoid treating others in a way that adds to conflict.  To avoid insults, gossip, evil glances, and other behaviors that you would never do to a brother or sister that you love.

Can you hate someone that only cares about you and is compassionate and helpful to you?  See how disarming being nice to someone can be?  When someone insults you, does it help to insult them back?  This is just common sense but so over looked, why do we always seem to act badly when we know it only makes things worse?

Two reasons, we are by nature always looking for the easy way and taking an insult without reacting negatively is hard to do.  Second, our instinct for survival kicks in, and since we do not stop and think about what we are about to do, we instinctively defend ourselves mistaking the threat as real, rather than personal.

The solution - acknowledge your responsibility to all conflict and become aware of your reactions to them.  Quickly recognize non life threatening reactions and count to 5 or just stop for an instant before making the conflict worse.  You will be amazed at how much happier your day to day life will be using this simple secret to happiness.
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