72 Secrets to Happiness
Secret 11 Eliminating Darkness





Other people's darkness does not have to affect you.  You can banish these effects by conciously realizing that they are not coming from your thoughts or actions but from others.  We have enough of our own problems to deal with without the chaotic effects of others.

It is commonly thought of by many as residue or bad vibes or ghosts that have not gone over etc.  But your belief system is not as important and the practical implications.  For example you may have heard a bedroom is inhabited by the ghost of a woman who what torched to death and will not leave until someone or something frees her spirit.  A practical way of looking at this is that you heard the story and it was creepy so you fantasize about it and nothing good can come from these thoughts, fears, or theories.

Another example might be that you are sitting at a restaurant and the previous person at your table was a selfish ego based narcissistic person who made everyone in the place including the waiter uneasy. The residue from this person is coming from the unhappy people all around you and since you were not there to witness why the foul mood of the place you are affected for no apparent reason.

Or you are just surrounded by folks coming from a funeral, or all the flights were just cancelled to a destination you were not going anyway, what ever but there is a lot of unhappiness in the air.

If you explore the reason or give into the unhappiness due to laziness or complacency then this darkness will effect you as well.  You do not need to let this happen, by being vigilant and recognizing that a bad feeling or atmosphere is effecting your mood, then you can take a positive action to counter the darkness.

Using the four step formula that protects us from unhappiness we overcome this obstacle.  One, recognize something is going on that you are reacting to.  Two, stop and think about it for a moment, let you mind free to solve the riddle.  Three, decide if you should investigate the reaction or ignore it based on your moment of thought.  Four, do something about it.

You might think that your first reaction was the right thing to do and sometimes it might be but most often that brief moment of thought will make the difference between happiness and misery so why not give yourself the extra advantage, it only takes a moment longer but often makes a big difference.

The best way to dispel a bad situation is to be helpful or say something nice and transform a tense unhappy situation into a lighter more enjoyable experience.  And never dwell on dark or negative people or events because no good can come from it.
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