72 Secrets to Happiness
Secret 36 Fear


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Fear is a basic human instinct that keeps us alive.  Without fear we would fall off of cliffs, drown, or step in front of moving vehicles.  But like all good things there is a dark side to fear that keeps us from success, happiness, and love.  It is not hard to tell the difference between good fear and bad fear because with just a moment of thought you can easily determine if a fear is life threatening or not.

Fear that is not life threatening is almost always going to harm you instead of saving you.  You need to identify your non threatening fears and find a way to turn them into opportunities for improvement.  Most of the time these fears are simply keeping you from growing and learning new things.  Even financial fears are preventing you from success.

So how does one change fear into opportunity?  Simply by looking objectively at the fear and analyzing why it makes you afraid.  If it is debt then you should probably learn how to get out of debt.  If it is relationships then you should start interacting with more people and gain the experience necessary to have more and better relationships.  One of the benefits of grade school was for social development but even if you missed out it is never too late to join an adult school, or volunteer in something activity that puts you in contact with a lot of new people on a regular basis.

Unless you have some medically certified brain damage or genetic brain disability then you are of average mental intelligence and a fear that you cannot figure things out is unfounded.  All average adults with average intelligence have more than enough intelligence to handle their fears including the fear of not being able to handle their fears.

Health fear requires action, unhealthy fear relies on the lack of action.  Simply not doing something because you are afraid to try, deigns you the rewards of success.  Start with little fears and work up to bigger ones.  We all need to take baby steps first.  Little success over small fear will lead to larger success over your greatest fears.

A psychologist will tell you to overcome the fear of an elevator is a simple as spending a couple of hours strait in one until it becomes boring.  And then make sure to take elevators as often as possible even if you do not need too. 

When you face your fears you will always come out the victor even if the thing you fear actually happens.  Take for instance, a fear talking to someone because you are certain they will not like you.  So you talk to them and quickly learn that you were right.  Instead of being afraid of the conversation you will replace it with the understanding that the person you were afraid to talk to was not very nice and you did not want to talk to them anyway.  This is because the fear was really an 'unknown' and now has become known.  We are almost never afraid of the known only the unknown.

It boils down to common sense.  The reason it is called common is because it is obvious and not rock science or complicated.  Fears are opposite of common sense in that they are perceived as difficult and complicated but with a little common sense they can easily be overcome.  Stop imprisoning yourself with fear and break out to become happy and successful.
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