72 Secrets to Happiness
Secret 43 Mind





We all have fantasized about mind over matter.  Where we can mold reality simply by thinking about it.  Some would call this miracles or magic.  We even know that to some extent we do have control over our reality when we concentrate hard enough.

Carefully laid plans are only in our mind until they become reality in the physical world.  In fact all technology was first only in the imagination of men and had no reality to cavemen.  The same goes for wars.  It takes a lot of mental ill will and non tolerance before men begin to kill each other.

The difference between good ideas that create a better safer life and bad ideas that create chaos and death are controlled by one simple thing.  Intent - good is for everyone - evil is for self alone.  Most of us spend 99% of our awake conscious mind thinking about our personal welfare. 

I would not go so far as to say that self alone is evil but it is bad for us and particularly for the world at large.  Team work and sharing are essential to happiness, civilization, and life itself.  When we spend so much time thinking only of ourselves and our personal needs we neglect our family and friends.

We have very little control over our nature and instincts so it is important for us to recognize the destructive tendencies we possess so that we can increase our co-operation with others and care about their needs who will in return care more about yours.  We do not have to be slaves to our nature and by reading self help material such as this and making an effort we can become masters of our fate.

It is not necessary to turn things around so that we give 99% of the time and only take 1% for ourselves, but if we can increase our giving even in the smallest way we are over coming our destructive and selfish ways and with time we will find the right level.  That will be when we are happy all the time and it will be different for each of us.  It may be 25-75 or 20-80 or 15-85 or 10-90 but according to ancient wisdom, true happiness is usually around 25-85.  15% giving to others and 85% protecting and taking for ourselves.

And do not confuse this with the Church and Tithing.  It may be one way for certain individuals but for most, tithing is an obligation and giving cannot be an obligation it must be selfless and with no strings or rewards.  You cannot give, expecting good things or your expectation ruins the giving.

An example of correct giving is when a parent gives cloths and food and presents to his child, it is out of love and giving.  And it take some practice because when you first start trying to give a little it does not work because you are forcing yourself to do something you would not normally do.  But with time if you keep giving a little, and especially if it is a very small increase over your norm, then it will begin to feel good and you will be happy without the expectation of more.

This giving can be money, or time, or creation, or food.  It should not be directed to close friends or families only because that is often a selfish motive; hoping to get along with those around us - sort of like favors.  Favors are not giving.  The purest form of giving is to someone who does not know you and does not know where the giving came from. 

But you do not need to be the best most creative giver for it to work, any giving in any amount for any purpose that is given out of caring and unselfish needs, will work.  Giving the right of way to someone on your left who was not paying attention and was in a hurry and cut in front of you, without your displaying anger or honking; would be a very good thing and you might even feel happiness instead of anger because of how controlled you were.

Here is the thing, that 99% selfish thing is a natural reaction and that 1% giving part is intellectual evaluation of the situation to see if the anger is really beneficial.  It could be that the person who cut you off should be warned of their carelessness so they do not hurt someone and if it happens that it was your neighbor in the car you may decide to later have a word with them when you are calm.  This is also a form of giving, if you do not know the person then simply honking at them will make them more angry as well and perhaps make them worse.  But you can make the call 1000% better if you think about it after your initial reaction and before action out on that reaction.

I am not the best writer and this is sort of confusing stuff but I can tell you that this is not deep and hard to understand.  We all have something called a conscious which tells us good from bad and it can be trusted most of the time.  There are no laws or rules, and every situation is different, but our minds are more than up to the task.

Be a better person, don't just react, and think more about actions - you will find long lasting and fulfilling happiness which will daily reward you for the rest of your life.
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